Dr. Ben Carson: Congress Shows Stupidity is a Choice

Ben Carson, one of America’s top neurosurgeons and a potential Republican candidate for president, said that Congress proves stupidity is a choice.

“A lot of people who are elected to serve in Congress are perfectly sane and intelligent when they go into Congress, yet when they come out, they are dunces. So, did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question,” Carson said.

The renowned neurosurgeon who has done considerable research on the correlation between intelligence and serving in Congress says that he has decided to skip serving in Congress and shoot directly for the highest office in the land for exactly that reason. “I just don’t want to follow the path of so many of our elected leaders who decide to run for president after one or two stints in Congress and, when elected President, are living proof that they have lost their minds while in that institution,” Carson says.

The neurosurgeon now plans to apply these findings to the area of sexual orientation, arguing that homosexuality is a choice, too. This is a view that is in sharp contrast with that of the majority of the medical and scientific community, including the American Psychological Association, but one that Carson plans to confirm using prison populations.

“Prisons are an excellent place to confirm my conclusions,” Carson says, “because we have a captive audience there.”

Note: This piece — another one in the series, “Life Imitating Satire” — is political satire.